Thursday, September 24, 2009

Still Riding the Roller Coaster

Yesterday started off well. The weather was pleasant and we took a long walk. Faina had felt strong and positive enough the day before that she took the car out for a drive; She even filled the tank with gas. She was excited to have a friend coming by for a visit around noon.

By the end of the day, she was saying, "My life is Hell." She was despairing over whether she would regain her health, focusing on the fact that she has not eaten since August 10th and wondering when she would eat again. She returned to the gastrectomy which was supposed to be a week in the hospital, but turned into a month. "Is there no end to this?" became her prevailing mood.

Still, she maintains a focus on Margo and Jamie; Margo's upcoming LSATs and internship and Jamie's homework assignments.


Well, while I’m here I’ll do the work-and what’s the work?
To ease the pain of living. (“Memory Gardens” – Allen Ginsberg)

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