We are in the last few hours of this current chemo cycle. A reminder call came on Friday for today's 2:45 appointment. It is a blood test to make sure she is healthy enough for tomorrow's chemo. Before going to sleep, Faina asked me to take her out this morning. Her once soldierly marching into the fusilade of toxins that make up the FOLFOX infusion has shifted, replaced by anticipation of the week of feeling poisoned, experiencing the side effects of nausea, sleeplessness, a GI tract thrown into turmoil, and an emotional battering. She wants to make the most of the earlier part of this day and has laid out an agenda that includes a few stops before arriving at the oncology center.
The first thing Faina did today was reply to emails from patients and colleagues. Sentiments that come up repeatedly are: "You were always one dentist I felt cared about me as a patient and a person. Thank you for doing that ... I will say a prayer for your recovery." For year's it has been a treat to run into Faina's patients at public events and in public spaces, being introduced to spouses and children, getting big demonstrative smiles exhibiting her work, and seeing a certain rock star status, short of asking for autographs.
Another wrote, "Want to let you know I’m thinking of you and that you’re in my prayers. I was extremely saddened to hear that you’re ill again. You’re a wonderful, warm and strong person and I’m fortunate to be able to call you a friend. Stay positive, keep fighting and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you."
It is difficult to say there isn't much people can do to help, although some individuals have proven far more imaginative than anyone under this roof. The highlights reel is filled with small graces like a challah or a zuccini loaf, flowers, a card, or a CD or interventions like when somebody or somebody who knows somebody has been able to clear a path, overcome obstacles, bend a rule, make a contact, and otherwise change the course of ordinary circumstances. These acts are the equal to any biblical miracle, creating something from nothing, parting seas, or endowing with new potential. It is amazing to witness the many "movers and shakers" in our midst, the angels among us. What to do? Stay in touch, keep Faina in your prayers, and pick up where she left off in the many projects she had to drop. Do forgive the miscommunications or the non-communications and know that she misses the people who she has been able to touch and who have touched her. Faina's greatest wish is that her narrative would not have included this plot twist. Nonetheless, there are chapters yet to be written.
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