Gastrectomy

What a day? At this moment, Faina is in the ICU following a successful surgery. Now begins the next chapter, the road to recovery.

Today started with the alarm going off at 4:00 am. The four of us were out the door by 5:00 and we were at Hopkins, on time, by 5:30. Faina was taken into the operating room at 7:35, pretty much right on schedule. All the earlier waiting, anxiety laden as it was, was really a build up to this next two hours of waiting, anxious by multiple degrees greater. In the balance was a repeat of April 27th, when Faina went in for a gastrectomy, was told the cancer had spread to her liver, classified as stage 4, and that she would have to undergo chemotherapy. Now, after three three-week cycles of chemotherapy, a month to heal, numerous doctors appointments, consultations and tests, it came down to this morning and an announcement that would take place sometime around 8:30: had the cancer spread or not, would the gastrectomy take place or not, and would the options suddenly all be either unspeakably horrible or a relatively well trod path toward recovery. The word came from the operating room: moving forward with the gastrectomy and, in an alternative universe sort of way, that was cause to celebrate.

This week's Torah portion begins, "See, this day I set before you blessing and curse: blessing if you obey ... and curse if you do not obey" (Devarim 11:26-28). Staring this particular biological beast in the face I can see blessing and curse. Is it health and good and bad choices? Is it to follow the advice of one person or another? Is it to do what one doctor or another proposes? Or is it ultimately to listen to that inner voice, the one that mediates between the yetzer tov and the yetzer ra, the one that we all really know is pointing us in the right direction. Parshat R'eih goes on to say, "You shall pronounce the blessings at Mount Gerizim and the curse at Mount Ebal" (11:29). I take this as a command to bear witness, to learn from experience, and to teach.

We are beginning a new chapter in this narrative. I pledge to probe it for its deeper meaning, find the path of the blessed, and steer clear of the cursed.